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A Suffragette Town 
Meeting 



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THE CABINET MINISTER ma'les, "nine^"emafes! Co" 
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No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



A Suffragette Town 
Meeting 

An Entertainment in One Act 



By 
LILIAN CLISBY BRIDGHAM 

Author of ^^The Famous Brown vs. Brown Separate 
Maintenance Case " 



e i» « 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
1912 



A Suffragette Town Meeting 



CHARACTERS 



Mrs. Manchester, Moderator, 

Mrs. Briggs, Town Clerk. 

Mrs. Smart, Tax Collector, 

Mrs. Gray, Chief Constable, 

Mrs. Eaton, Fence Viewer. 

Mrs. Cash, Tree Warden. 

Mrs. Jones, Superintendent of Streets, 

Mrs. White, Overseer of the Poor. 

Mrs. Prouty, Chairman Board of Assessors, 

Mrs. Snow, Milk Inspector. 

Mrs. Drake, Highway Surveyor. 

Mrs. Holmes, Auditor. 

Mrs. Plain, Chairman Board of Health. 

Mrs. Blunt, 7^w« Treasurer. 

Mrs. Gate, Chairman Board of Selectmen, 

Mrs. Sears, Chairman School Committee, 

Bridget. 

Maggie. 

Nora. 

Mr. Manchester. 

Plays one hour. 




Copyright, 191 2, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 

/ 

©Ci.D 31691 



A Suffragette Town Meeting 



SCENE. — Ordinary hall with door right and Uft of rear of 
stage ; desk in centre of rear for moderator ^ smaller desk 
in front of that for clerk. Settees at right and left of stage 
facing centre. Use local names and places where blanks 
are left. 

Enter Mrs. Smart, Mrs. Gray and Mrs. Eaton. 

Mrs. Smart. What do you think I have decided to do ? 

Mrs. G. Give it up. Do tell. 

Mrs. E. Yes, do. I'm just dying for some really new 
news. This town has been as dead as last year's calendar 
lately. 

Mrs. Smart. Well — I am going to be moderator of this 
town meeting ! 

Mrs: E." } (.disappointed). Oh ! 

Mrs. Smart. I knew you'd be surprised ; but I just made 
up my mind in bed last night. You see I was president of the 
{local ) Basket Ball team, and am well posted on running public 
affairs, so while personally I might prefer to be a silent on- 
looker, duty forces me to be willing to become a leader of my 
people — for the sake of our beloved town — and — of course you 
must vote for me. I'm going to give the lovehest party next 
week for all who are on my side. 

Mrs. G. Why, I suppose we might as well then. 

Mrs. Smart. Won't you, Mrs. Eaton ? 

Mrs. E. (hesitating). Well, I — er — er 

Mrs. Smart. Do you know, dear, I thought to-day when 
riding by your place that perhaps you would like some nice 
long rides in our new touring car ? Um — you will vote for 
me, won't you ? 

Mrs. E. Oh, I always stand by my friends ! 

Mrs. G. (aside). Wasn't I a donkey not to hold out longer ? 

(The three talk together in whispers.') 



4 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Enter Mrs. Cash, Mrs. Jones and Mrs. White. 

Mrs. Cash. I guess I have got a surprise for you this time 
all right. You can never imagine what I'm going to do. 

^^^•|- I What is it? 
Mrs. W. ) 

Mrs. Cash. I'm going to be moderator of this meeting and 
you two can be my Oh, what is it the men call them ? 

Mrs. J. Well, I rather guess we women have brains enough 
to think up a name for ourselves. 

Mrs. Cash. We will say aides. You two be my aides and 
buttonhole the ladies and get them to vote for me. 

Mrs. J. And in return ? 

Mrs. Cash. Oh, yes — let me think. — I'll have you both 
at my summer cottage in Beverly for two weeks next summer. 

Mrs. W. Oh, that would be delightful — let us plan our 
gowns now. 

Enter Mrs. Prouty, Mrs. Snovit and Mrs. Drake. 

Mrs. Prou. Oh, ladies, I am just dying to tell you some- 
thing. Do you know I tried and tried to think of some woman 
who could run this town meeting — and finally decided I'd 
simply have to do it myself, so if you will kindly nominate me 
I am sure all the ladies will be delighted to vote for me. 

Mrs. D. Why — I kinder thought I'd run for that job my- 
self. 

Mrs. Prou. You ? A stay-at-home- mind-the-baby sort of 
woman like you moderator of a town meeting ! You wouldn't 
know how to call a meeting to order. My husband was chair- 
man of the Board of Health for seven years and in the summer 
time they met in our barn and I listened to the proceedings. 
Every other minute it would be something like this : ** See 
here, Tom Jones, if you don't shut up this everlasting chewing 
of the rag I'll pitch you out of that window heels over head 
before you can say Jack Robinson." Oh, I'm the one for that 
job all right. 

Mrs. Snow. Well, but what is there in it for us ? 

Mrs. D. Yes, where do we come in ? 

Mrs. Prou. Why — let me see. — Oh, I'll tell you. — Mrs. 
Snow, you nominate me for moderator, and I'll appoint you 
tellers to count the votes, then you can fix them just as you 
like. 

(The three whisper together.) 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 5 

Enter Mrs. Holmes, Mrs. Plain and Mrs. Blunt. 

Mrs. H. I called for Mrs. Manchester, but she had com- 
pany, so I didn't wait. There was an auto at her door. 

Mrs. Blunt. An automobile at the Manchesters' — well, it 
must have been the doctor, for nobody else who is anybody 
calls on that faded out Mrs. Manchester. 

Mrs. D. That's true all right. Do you know she lets her 
children associate with that drunken Taylor family on {local^ 
street. 

Mrs. Plain. Well, they are real nice little children, and it 
is not their fault that their father drinks. I don't see but Mrs. 
Manchester is just as good as some other people, and they 
do say her husband's uncle is a Duke. She never speaks of it 
though. 

Mrs. Prou. They do say indeed ! Well, you may be sure 
that's all it amounts to — imagine that ordinary little woman 
who lives in a hired house related to a Duke — ridiculous ! 

Mrs. H. (Jo Mrs. Plain). Well, I hope to goodness they 
will have a short meeting, for I've got to get home early to get 
Charles' supper. 

Mrs. Plain. Well, my husband has his supper when I'm 
ready to give it to him ; but do stay until the moderator is 
elected, for I am going to run for that job and want your vote. 
Will you nominate me ? 

Mrs. H. Oh, I'll nominate you all right, but you must 
enjoy hornets' nests to want to run this shooting match. 

Mrs. Plain. Who is it runs a town meeting before the 
moderator is elected anyhow ? 

Mrs. Blunt. Why, the town clerk, of course. — I'll bet she 
is late. She always is, wherever she goes, and / think it's just 
because she wants everybody to stare at her. Ssh ! Here she 
comes now. 

Enter Mrs. Briggs, Mrs. Gate and Mrs. Sears. 

Mrs. Gate. I don't care if I am chairman of the Board of 
Selectmen, I can be elected moderator too, can't I? 

Mrs. Sears. You ought to be satisfied with what you have 
got now and not try to be the whole push. Now I had this 
new gown made expressly to wear here to-night, and I'm just 
going to run for moderator, and if you'll nominate me I'll 
(aside to Mrs. Gate) give you that pair of colonial candle- 
sticks you admire so much. 



6 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Mrs. Gate. Well, I should smile — I'll nominate you all 
right. 

Mrs. Briggs. Well, I was thinking of nominating Mrs. 
Manchester if she came. / think she is really quite a brainy 
little woman. 

Mrs. Sears. Oh, dear me! What shall I do? Oh, I'll 
get John to give your husband the job of repainting our house. 

Mrs. Briggs. All right, I'm with you. 

Enter Maggie, Bridget and Nora. 

Mrs. Cash. For the land sake there's my Bridget ! 

Mrs. Smart. And if there isn't my Nora ! 

Mrs. D. And my Maggie. Did you ever see such nerve ? 

(Ladies spread skirts occupying fjiore space.) 

Mrs. Cash. It is too bad, but really there isn't a bit of 
room for you. 

Mrs. Plain. If I had my way^ only women of real estate 
would be allowed to vote. 

Mag. Sure and was that the rason you made your husband 
put your ;^2oo down-ten-doUars-a-month-house in your name ? 
Come on, girls, here's room. 

{They squeeze into front seat. Mrs. Plain takes back seat.) 

Mrs. H. Well, girls, I am glad you are interested enough 
in the government of our town to come out to-night, but I'm 
very glad my Molly didn't want to come, for my husband 
would go wild if there was no one at home to wait upon him. 

Brid. Faith, it wasn't interest in the givunmint, but we 
wanted to see who stharted the first row. 

Mrs. E. It does look as though the men were to let us 
run this meeting alone after all. I was scared blue for fear 
some would come, as it was the first one since women were 
elected town officers. I told my husband if he dared to come 
I would leave him on the spot. That settled him. 

Mrs. G. I told mine that the price of his coming would be 
two new gowns, and he concluded it would be too expensive. 

Mrs. Cash. Well, I told mine I wouldn't cook baked 
beans, boiled dinner, or doughnuts again for six months if he 
came, and that fixed him all right, 

Mrs. Snow. I just told Ed I should invite mama to come 
and live with us if he came, and you should have seen his face. 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 7 

Mrs. Smart. Well, Mr. Smart said he wouldn't miss the 
show, as he called it, for a good deal, and I had pretty hard 
work thinking up something that would be sure to keep him 
away. 

All. What was it ? 

Mrs. Smart. Well, he thought my last parlor maid was 
pretty nice and I discharged her. Now, she was extremely 
fond of the color and odor of violets, so I got some violet paper 
and perfumed it pretty high and wrote him a letter. ''My 
dear Mr. Smart: — I am in dreadful, dreadful trouble and in 
great need of your wise advice. Will you meet me by the 
restaurant door of the South Station (insert the present date) 
evening at 8 : 45, please ? I will not detain you long. Beatrice." 
I guess he is waiting there now. Ha, ha, ha ! 

Mrs. Prou. That was clever all right \ but my husband 

didn't want to come. He said Oh, I guess I won't say 

what. 

All. Oh, please do. 

Mrs. Prou. No, I can't. Really, I shouldn't have re- 
ferred to it. 

All. But you must tell us. 

Mrs. Prou. Well, if you will have it, he said it was all 
he could do to stand the cackling of one hen, let alone a whole 
flock. 

All. Oh, how dreadful ! The villain ! 

Mrs. Prou. Well, you just made me tell. What did you 
do to keep your husband at home, Mrs. Blunt ? He told John 
he was coming, live or die. 

Mrs. Blunt. Oh, I just simply told him not to come. 
That was enough. 

Mrs. Gate. Well, my husband didn't say anything hate- 
ful, but he had an important engagement, otherwise he wouldn't 
have missed it for anything. 

Mrs. Plain. Mrs. Sears, "i r,., ,, .1 u *. u 

Mrs. J. Mrs. W. \ ^^^^ ?7<='ly '^hat my hus- 

Mrs. H. Mrs. Briggs. \ ^^""^ '^"^- 

Enter Mrs. Manchester. 

Mrs. M. How do you do, ladies ? I have the most won- 
derful thing to tell you. 

(All talk and ignore her.) 

Mrs. Blunt. What is it, dear Mrs. Manchester ? 



8 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Mrs. M. It is simply too wonderful — too surprising. 

Mrs. Smart | (^aside). I do believe she is going to run 

Mrs. Cash V ^^^ moderator. The very idea ! 

Mrs. Prou. ) ^ 

Mrs. M. (Jo Mrs. Blunt). You know, Mr. Manchester is 
only nephew of the Duke of Waterbury. 

All (sitiing up and gasping). Yes? 

Mrs. Blunt. Oh, you are all interested now. Go on, my 
dear. 

Mrs. M. Well, His Grace had two lovely sons, eighteen 
and twenty years old, so of course we never dreamed that 
there was the least chance of succession for Albert. 

All. Well ! 

Mrs. M. Well, we got a message Monday that the two 
boys were both drowned, and the shock killed their father. 
Oh (crying), that poor, poor mother ! 

All. And now ? 

Mrs. M. Why, Albert is Duke of Waterbury. But how I 
do pity that afflicted woman. 

All. Oh ! Your Grace ! 

Mrs. M. You needn't "Your Grace" me. I am still 
Emma Manchester to all ray friends, and^ — I fear you won't 
believe me — but I would be just too happy for anything if only 
that poor woman could have her loved ones back again — it is 
so terrible. 

Mrs. Smart. My dearest — er — Your Grace, I meant — I was 
going to tell you before — but I give a garden party next week 
Friday, and you must be sure and come 

Mrs. M. But we shall be in mourning ! 

Mrs. Smart. Oh ! but I will make it very quiet and digni- 
fied, and I will send my limousine for you and Mr. — er — His 
Grace at eight. Now promise me you will come. 

Mrs. M. Very well, thank you most kindly. 

Mrs. Smart. Oh, the pleasure is all mine, and I'll be sure 
and send the limousine. 

Mrs. Cash. And, dearest, I want you to spend the whole 
month of July down at our summer place. — You promised 
Mrs. Smart, so you won't refuse me, will you? 

Mrs. M. If you put it on that ground I can't very well. 
But why are you all so kind to me ? 

Mrs. Prou. And we take a trip for two weeks along the 
coast of Maine in our new steam yacht in August, and there 
will be just room for your family. 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 9 

Mrs. M. Really, my dear, we go abroad in the fall, for 
good. My husband will probably go before, and I must spend 
some time in getting ready. 

Mrs. Prou. Well, but I shall steal you for our August trip. 

Mrs. Briggs {rapping for order). The meeting will please 
come to order. The first business is the election of a mod- 
erator by ballot. Will some one please nominate ? 

Mag. I nominate Bridget. 

Mrs. G. "I TMrs. Smart. 

Mrs. T. t • .- Mrs. Cash. 

Mrs. Snow. \ ^ "^^^"^^^ 1 Mrs. Prouty. 

Mrs. Plain. J l^ Myself 

Mrs. Briggs. You have heard the nominations. You will 
prepare your ballots. Slips will be handed you. I appoint 
Mrs. Sears and Mrs. Gate as tellers to receive and count the 
ballots. 

{Each candidate tries to get friends to vote for her,) 

Mrs. G. I have no pencil. 

Mrs. Briggs. Well, I have a fountain pen, but it will take 
forever for all of you to use it. 

Mrs. Smart. I have several of my visiting cards you may 
each have for your ballots. 

Mrs. Gate. Thanks awfully, but I guess each lady can 
prepare her own. ( While they are marking out ballots Brid. 
takes Mrs. Gate's coat from back of her chair and tries it on, 
Mrs. Gate catches her.) Oh, you vile upstart you ! Take 
off that coat this instant ! It's lucky for you that you don't 
work for me. I'd dock your pay two weeks for that. 

Brid. Yer couldn't do it. I belong to the Work-ladies' 
Union. {Makes faces at her,) 

Mrs. Briggs. Have all voted who wish ? If so 

Nora. Please, mum, I can't write 

Mrs. W. There, now, listen to that. A woman who can't 
write trying to vote at a town meeting. 

Nora. Aw, yez didn't let me finish. I can't write with 
nothing to write with. (Mrs. Gate hands her pen to her.) 
Biddy, how does ye spell yer last name? 

Brid. R-i-1-e-y. Shure how would ye spell it ? 

(Mrs. Sears and Mrs. Gate collect votes and carry them to 
a high desk to sort them out.) 



10 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Mrs. E. Doesn't it make you tired the airs Mrs. Gate puts 
on, just because she is chairman of the Board of Selectmen ? 
And there's Mrs. Manchester, a duchess, and not a single bit 
of airs does she sport. I don't think I'll vote for Mrs. Gate 
again. 

Mrs. W. What do you imagine possessed those servant girls 
to come here ? 

Mrs. Smart. I'm sure I don't know. Goodness knows 
what the world is coming to if kitchen girls try to run our town 
affairs. 

Mrs. Gate. Madam Glerk, we are ready to report. 

Mrs. Briggs. Very well. Attention, ladies, to the report 
of the tellers. 

Mrs. Gate. Number of votes cast, nineteen ; necessary for 
a choice, ten. Mrs. Smart has one vote. (Mrs. Smart nearly 
collapses.) Mrs. Prouty has one vote. (Mrs. Prou. scolds 
those about her.) Mrs. Gash has one vote. (Mrs. Gash very 
indignant.) Mrs. Plain has two votes. One is in Mrs. Man- 
chester's writing. Miss Bridget Riley has three votes. (Nora 
cries t ** Hooray f) Mrs. Manchester has eleven votes, and 
is elected. 

Mrs. Briggs. I declare Mrs. Manchester, the Duchess of 
Waterbury, elected moderator of this meeting. 

Brid. Well, begorra, I came out second. What do yez 
know about that ? 

Mrs. Briggs. The ladies present will preserve order. 

Mrs. M. But — er — why — er — why, ladies, this is a great 
surprise, and I feel wholly unfitted for the honors you bestow 
on me. 

Brid. (rising). Very well, mum. It's me for the job, then, 
for I'm next. Hand over that hammer, Mrs. Glerk. 

Mrs. J. {pulling her back). Will you sit down and be 
quiet ? 

Mrs. Briggs. My dear Mrs. Manchester, we are only too 
proud to be presided over by so gracious a lady. Allow me to 
escort you to your throne. 

{All but the other candidates applaud.) 

Mrs. M. You are very kind, and since you insist, I'll do 
my best, but you must be patient if I make mistakes or dis- 
please you in any way. 

(Mrs. Briggs escorts her to seat.) 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING II 

Mrs. Plain. That's all right, my dear. You have a good 
level head, and I'm sure you will get along all right. 

Mrs. Sears. Yes, your ladyship, we are most delighted to 
have a woman of your natural keenness of perception to 
lead us. 

Mrs. D. And we feel sure that your sense of justice will 
permit all questions in dispute to be settled most amicably. 

Mrs. G. And your infinite tact, Your Grace 

Mrs. M. Pardon me, ladies, but we must give our closest 
attention to the business of the meeting. Let us give the affairs 
and finances of our town the same careful consideration that 
we would give our homes and pocketbooks. The clerk will 
now read the warrant which has brought us here, and will give 
us in detail the matters to be considered. 

Mrs. Briggs {reading). 

" Commonwealth of Massachusetts. 

{Insert name | 

of county.') \ 

To either of the Constables of the town of in the 

county aforesaid, 
Greeting : 

In the name of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, 
you are hereby required and directed to notify and warn the 
inhabitants of the town of {local), aforesaid, who are qualified 
to vote at elections and in town affairs therein, to meet in town 

meeting at the Town Hall in said {local) on the day of 

A. D., 19..., at eight o'clock, p. m., then and there to 

act upon the following subjects and business, viz : 

Article i . To choose a moderator to preside at said meeting. 

Article 2. To listen to the reading of the records of the last 
meeting. 

Article 3. To listen to the reports of officers and commit- 
tees elected at the last annual meeting, and special meetings. 

Article 4. To proceed to the election of officers for the en- 
suing year. 

Article 5. To appropriate money for town expenses for the 
ensuing year. 

Article 6. To act upon any other matter that may legally 
come before the meeting. 

And you are hereby commanded to serve this warrant by 
posting up at least six attested copies thereof in public places in 
said town, not less than seven days before the day appointed 
for said meeting, and by leaving a printed copy thereof at every 



12 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

occupied dwelling house and tenement in said town at least 
three days before the day appointed for said meeting. 

Hereof fail not and make due return of this warrant with 
your doings thereon to the town clerk. 

Given under our hands at this day of 

A. D., 19... i^Local names.) 

{Local names!) 
{Local names.) 

Selectmen of the town of 
A true copy. Attest : {Local.) 

{Local name,) Constable 
of the town of {Local.) " 
Mrs. M. We will now take up the second article of the 
warrant. The clerk will read the record of the last annual 
meeting and the special meetings. 

(Mrs. Briggs s lands up with a very long paper in her hands.) 

Mrs. Smart. Goodness me ! if it is that long I move that 
we dispense with the reading of it, and that it be accepted, and 
that we pass on to the next solo on the program. 

Mrs. Cash. I second that motion. 

Mrs. M. It is moved and seconded that we dispense with 
the reading of the records, and approve them unread. Is there 
anything to be said on the subject ? 

Mrs. G. How do we know that she has everything, if she 
don't read it? 

Mrs. J. Well, judging by the length of her report, she has 
everything and a little more. 

Mrs. W. Question ! 

Mrs. M. Those in favor of the records being accepted un- 
read will signify it by the uplifted hand. {All vote '^ yes.'') 
Those opposed. It is a unanimous vote, and the records are 
approved unread. 

Mrs. Briggs. Well, I don't just fancy that seeing that I 
spent a dozen evenings working it up, and could have spent 
the time in much pleasanter ways. 

Mrs. H. Well, you know you would have to have it ready 
to place upon your town clerk's book, anyway. 

Mrs. Briggs {slappiiig paper on the desk). Oh, any old 
thing would do for that. 

Mrs. M. Never mind, dear. We are sure it is a very cor- 
rect and interesting record, and we shall be proud to have it 
placed upon the books. (Mrs. M. may declare recess here, 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 1 3 

during which refreshments may be sold.') Next come the re- 
ports of town officers for the past year. First 1 will call on our 
beloved town clerk, Mrs. Briggs. 

Mrs. Briggs (^jumping up quickly and reading). *' Report 

of the town clerk of the town of , for the year ending 

A. D., 19... The number of marriage licenses issued 

by the clerk during the year, thirty- six and one-half." 

Mag. Sure and phwat's the one-half for? 

(Mrs. Briggs looks Mag. over very superciliously.) 

Mrs. M. Yes, do jtell us about that one-half, Mrs. Briggs. 

Mrs. Briggs. Well, Mary Stone came and got hers, but 
Bob White, whom she was to marry, found out that she was 
fourteen years older than she claimed, so didn't get his, but 
left the country. Maggie, I hope your curiosity is gratified. 
(^Continues.) ''Nineteen male children, twenty-one female 
children, and one pair of twins, one of each were born. 
Thirty-seven dogs were licensed, and twenty-seven people 
died " 

Mrs. Blunt. I should think she would put deaths before 
dog licenses. That woman doesn't have any sense of the eter- 
nal fitness of things. 

Mrs. Briggs {continuitig). *' Thirty people were placed 
on the jury list; twelve men and eighteen women. {^Cheers.) 
Four subordinate town meetings were held, and I did every- 
thing else a town clerk should do in the interests of her beloved 
town. Respectfully submitted, Mary L. Briggs, Town Clerk." 

Nora. Shure and don't they be after doing anything in this 
town but just be born, married, license their dogs and die ? 

Brid. Hush, Nora, dear, there's lots more folks got to toot 
their horns. 

Mrs. M. You have heard the report of our esteemed town 
clerk. What is your pleasure to do with it? 

Brid. I move and second that it be filed. I call it pretty 
dull. 

Nora. I third it. 

Mrs. E. There ought to be some way to quiet those per- 
sons. 

Mrs. M. It is moved that we accept the report and place 
it on file. Those in favor raise their hands. {All do so.) 
Those opposed ? It is a vote. We will now hear the report 
of the town treasurer. 



|. A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Mrs. Blunt. " Balance on hand at begin- 
ning of the year, $ .18 

Received from taxes and as- 
sessments, 202,739.48 

Received from licenses, po- 
lice department, etc., etc., 4,821. 10 



207,560.58 



Paid out : support of schools, 
care of highways, support 
of poor, fire, health and 
police departments, etc., 
etc., etc., ^202,760.42 

Expense of run- 
ning theoffice, 4,800.16 ;^2o7,76o.i6 



Making the books come out exactly even. Respectfully sub- 
mitted, Ellen M. Blunt, Treasurer." 

Mrs. Briggs. Well, no vi^onder they have a new automo- 
bile. Nearly ^5,000 for expenses of running the treasurer's 
office. I move you. Madam Moderator, that this report be in- 
vestigated. 

Brid. Shure ! show the grafter up. 

Mrs. Blunt. Oh, you needn't bother; the auditor has al- 
ready done so, and finds it all right. {To Brid.) So now, 
smarty. 

Mrs. Prou. Ah ! I see a light. Mr. Blunt is in the iron 
fence business, and Mrs. Blunt's dear friend, Mrs. Auditor, has 
an expensive iron fence about her home — um — hum. 

Mrs. Sears. Well, it does look rather grafty, doesn't it? 

Mrs. Blunt. Now just see here, you fuss budgets — my 
husband is the largest taxpayer in this here town, and if you 
don't accept this report — we move bag and baggage, and will 
sell our place to a family of Italians with sixteen children — so 
there ! 

Mrs. Sears. Oh, well, I move to accept the outrageous 
report. 

Mrs. W. I second it. 

Mrs. M. I think I had better not put that motion, for fear 
some one might vote against it, so you {to Mrs. Briggs) may 
just say it was read and accepted. 

Mrs. J. Put it that it was accepted for just what it was 
worth, while you are about it. Madam Clerk. 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING I5 

Mrs. M. Now we will hear the report of the chairman of 
the Board of Selectmen. 

Mrs, H. Don't you think we should say '* select- women " ? 

Mrs. M. Just as you say — so long as we get the re- 
port. 

Mrs. Gate. Well, I was too busy to write it out, but we 
have done every blessed thing we were asked to do but paint 
the town hall yellow to match Mrs. Skinner's house next door. 
(Sifs dowttt then bobs up.) Respectfully submitted, Anna 
Gate. (^Asidg.) Hurry up and move to accept it. 

Mrs. J. I move we accept it with thanks. 

Mrs. Briggs. But it should be in writing. 

Mrs. Gate. Well, aren't you smart enough to write that? 

Mrs. M. Well, I'm sure our chairman of selectmen has 
done good work, so of course we will accept her report. Now 
will the collector of taxes give her report? 

Mrs. Smart. I've got my report all written out. It isn't 
very long, but I'm going to read it, every word of it, or else 
know the reason why — so there ! " Due on past taxes and un- 
collected by the male tax collectors during the past five years, 
;^5, 1 1 7. 59." And I'll say here that our largest taxpayer {look- 
ing at Mrs. Blunt) owed ;^ 1,900 of that, but he doesn't now. 
"To paid out for advertising for sale all of this property upon 
which taxes were due, $$2. 

The first week the * ad ' ran there was paid ;^ 1,0 10 
" second " " " ** '' >' '' 1,200 
" third " " *' " " " '< 2,700 ;^4,9io 



leaving due on past five years' taxes, ;^207.59." And all I can 
say is it is a blessed good thing for the town, seeing it costs so 
much to run the treasurer's office. *' GoUected taxes for the 
present year, ;^i 10,219. Taxes and assessments still due, 
^11,876." But they won't be due long, for I am going to have 
another seance with (name some local paper) this week, and a 
few ** ads" will soon bring the balance in. I will say this, 
though — I don't have much trouble with the men, but I do be- 
lieve the women had rather pay out money for anything else on 
earth than taxes, and that's all. << Ellen Blunt." 

Mrs. M. You have heard the report of our collector of 
taxes ; what will you do with it ? 

Mrs. Gash. Well, if you will exclude the parentheses, I'll 
move to accept it. My husband says the one great good that 
has come to this town under woman's control is the work Mrs. 



l6 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Blunt has done, and she has no new iron fence about her lawn 
either. 

Mrs. M. Those in favor of accepting this report please 
raise your hands. It is a vote. The school committee will 
now give its report. 

Mrs. Sears. " Well, I've had a horrid time. I collected 
the very prettiest teachers I could find for our schools, and out 
of nine six have already become engaged, and I guess the oth- 
ers will soon follow suit. I shall advise my successor to hire 
freaks. Then Miss {iiame sovie local teacher) was complained 
of for having pets; she just let the {local) children do about as 
they wanted to, and mothers of the other children kicked high 
because Miss {local) 's young man called on her at school much 
too often. Miss {local) wore such pretty clothes the children 
couldn't keep their eyes off of her long enough to study their 
lessons. Miss {local) had no discipline. Miss {local) made 
the girls sit on one side of the room and the boys on the other, 
and that made trouble all right — and, oh, dear ! it was nothing 
but complaints from morning to night, and but for the fear of 
my husband's * I told you so,' I should have resigned long ago. 
I certainly wouldn't take the job another year for ten times the 
salary. Yours truly, Sally Sears." 

Mrs. M. Poor thing, you certainly have had a hard time, 
and deserve a good rest. We will accept your report all right. 
Now we will hear from the chairman of the Board of Health. 

Mrs.Tlain. Madam Moderator and townswomen. When 
I was elected to this responsible position I determined to make 
good or die in the attempt — and — well, I am not dead yet, you 
see. {Reads.) " It was evidently the impression of my towns- 
people that my efforts were to be directed toward {name the 
lozvest section of the town), but a public officer can be no dis- 
criminator of persons or caste, so the first one I talked to was 
{na7ne some leading citizen). He has a beautiful home, you all 
know, but when 1 learned that he had five cats I was convinced 
that something should be done. Not only are five cats a pub- 
lic nuisance because of the evening recitals, but we all know 
how they drag bones about, leaving them to breed disease. 
Well, I had a hard fight with him and was obliged to make 
twenty-seven calls upon him before I was successful. Now he 
has one inoffensive old tabby cat, and the neighborhood is quiet 
and healthful once more. Next I learned that our chief of 
police keeps in his home money, valuables and keepsakes, that 
are put into his care by men sentenced to imprisonment for 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 1 7 

wilful wrong-doing. Think, fellow citizens, of the millions of 
microbes in that home spreading disease germs broadcast and 
liable to result in an epidemic of smallpox or something equally 
disastrous. It took seventeen calls to persuade him to transfer 
them to a vault in the basement of the police station. I wanted 
him to burn them, but finally had to compromise. Next I 
learned that our street signs were never cleaned, but stood year 
after year catching all the deadly germs that blew upon them, 
and the faintest breeze could blow them into the faces of 
passers-by. I organized a gang of workmen from the street 
department, and had every one washed in an antiseptic solu- 
tion, and well rinsed and dried. Now they stand monuments 
of health and strength." 

Mrs. W. Not unless you have them dusted three times a 
day. 

Mrs. Plain (not heeding her). " That was but the begin- 
ning. It would take too long to tell of all my labors, but I 
have been town cleaning, and although abuse has been poured 
upon me time and again, I have the supreme satisfaction of 
knowing that through my tireless efforts, we now live in a ver- 
itable spotless town. Respectfully submitted, Eliza Plain, 
Chairman Board of Health." 

Mrs. Smart. She actually made my kitchen girl throw 
away a lot of good dish cloths. 

Brid. Shure, didn't she come nosing into our back yard, 
telling me to pick up this and fumigate that? The big 
nuisance ! 

Nora. Yes, and she came to our house and made me wash 
our attic walls inside. 

Mag. Well, she did worse than that to me. She ordered 
me to wash out the coal bin. I up and towld her that if she 
objected to the looks she could wash it herself, as I had other 
fish to fry. And then she had the sauce to tell me that fish 
should be boiled and not fried, as pork was unfit to eat, and 
she never allowed it in her house. 

Brid. Shure and her husband looks it — skinny. 

Mrs. Briggs. Order in the room. Well, I'll file the report, 
but I hope she fumigated it first. 

Mrs. M. We will now hear the report of the Board of 
Assessors. Well, did you have a picnic too, Mrs. Prouty ? 

Mrs. Prou. Well, I should say I did. {Reads.) " When 
I began my labors I little knew what I had run up against, and 
it was only by putting forth herculanian efforts that I was able, 



l8 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

to Straighten things out. I found that every blessed relation 
and friend of our former assessor had his property assessed for 
just one-third of its valuation. Mr. {local) 's fine estate was 
assessed for ^2,000; Mr. {local) 's for ^1,500; Mr. {local) 's 
for ^3,000, and Mrs. {local) 's for ^800, and so on. But my 
little ^2,500 place was assessed for ^3,800, and several others 
at a similar rate. I quietly ascertained just the amount each 
property owner would sell his estate for and assessed it for just 
his own valuation. There was some tall howling, but the deed 
was done, and now if the town don't owe me a vote of thanks 
I miss my guess. Yours very sincerely, Mary Prouty, Chair- 
man of Board of Assessors." 

Mrs. M. Fine ! Splendid ! You did a grand thing for 
our town, and I am delighted to accept the report. 

Mrs. Snow. Well, I am not one bit stuck on it. My hus- 
band knows perfectly well no one would pay ^5,000 for our 
place. 

Mrs. Prou. Well, he considers it worth that much, for he 
said he wouldn't sell it for one cent less. 

Mrs. D. I am not smitten with Mrs. Prouty's work either. 
My landlord raised my rent sixty dollars a year because she 
put his taxes up fifty dollars. 

Mrs. W. Mine raised the rent too. 

Mrs. M. We must expect it to cost us something to have 
our town run properly. The superintendent of streets will 
please report now. 

Mrs. J. *' Fellow citizens: My report is not long, but is 
full of meat. {All the streets she names are in the immediate 
neighborhood.) I had a street cut from (local) street to {local) 
street. {Local) street has been repaved and {local) street has 
been widened. I had a granolithic sidewalk laid on {local) 
street. A tunnel has been dug through the hill on {local) 
street and an esculator put up the hill on [local) street. I 
wanted to do more but the money gave out, so I had to stop. 
Respectfully submitted, Amelia Jones (her X mark). P. S. — I 
cut my hand, so had to have my daughter write this." 

Mrs. Gate. Well, I never ! She managed to fix up her 
own neighborhood all right, didn't she ? 

Mrs. Briggs. If she has the job next year I think I will 
hire her to move up on {names her street). Well, here goes 
her report with the others, I suppose. 

Mrs. M. We will now hear the report of our highway 
surveyor. 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING I9 

Mrs. D. Well, **The town neglected to supply me with 
surveying instruments, so I was obliged to tru.st to my eyes 
alone. 1 visited the highways of our town, that is the highest 
streets, such as {local ; fiufne some streets on high land), twice 
during the year, and so far as I could see the sidewalks were 
laid out on parallel lines and the telegraph posts were equal 
distances from each other. Very truly yours, in haste, Mary 
R. Drake." 

Mrs. M. Next comes the report of the overseers of the poor. 

Mrs. W. " Officers and ladies : As this has been a specially 
busy year with me, club work, committee work, church work, 
company, sickness, and what not, I just turned over the funds 
appropriated for this work to {name some philanthropic lady)^ 
who is admirably fitted to perform it. Now, it was enough for 
her to do the work without having to make a report, so I take 
the liberty of saying that the funds have be -n ^'idiciously ex- 
pended and a great deal of good accomplished. In addition 
to spending the town's money our {najne some woman* s club) 
club held a rummage sale on {local ; fiame some street in lower 
part of town) street, thus enabling the poor of our town to 
clothe themselves with our out-of-date clothing for a mere noth- 
ing. Your obedient servant, Ella R. White." 

Mrs. Briggs. Well, what did you do with the proceeds of 
the sale ? 

Mrs. W. Oh, we used it to go on an outing to (^some near-by 
resort). 

Mrs. M. Well, that report is a little out of the ordinary, 
but I suppose we will have to accept it. Will the tree warden 
give her report ? 

Mrs. Cash (reading). "Know all men by these presents 
that I, Henrietta V. Cash, tree warden of the town of {local), 
have superintended the spraying of all trees in our town and 
have planted twenty-six beautiful new poplar trees on {local) 
street {the one she lives on) and removed eighteen old un- 
sightly trees in different sections of the town. Mrs. {locals- 
name well-known woman) did a lot of complaining because a 
large branch of a maple tree in front of her house shut off her 
view of her neighbors across the street ; so I had the offending 
branch removed. Mrs. {local ; some popular woman) was so 
modest and retiring that she objected to passers-by seeing her 
hang out clothes, so I planted three trees in front of her home, 
and I think that is all. Respectfully submitted, Lucy R. Cash, 
Tree Warden." 



20 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Mrs. Sears. Well, what do you know about that? Next 
thing people will want the town to build a ten-foot screen 
about their houses so people can't see what kind of window 
draperies they have. 

Mrs. M. Well, we will accept the report. It shows that 
Mrs. Cash tried to please everybody. Mrs. Gray, what have 
you to report for the constables ? 

Mrs. G. First, I don't like the job and won't take it again. 
I think dirty work like arresting people should be left to the 
men. (Reads.) " Report of the constables for the town of 
(Jocal)'. Made ninety-seven arrests during the year. Thirty- 
nine for intoxication, seven for breaking and entering, eighteen 
for swearing (you know it is against the law), sixteen for street 
walking. And I would like to have arrested about twenty 
young fellows who loaf about street corners making remarks 
about passers-by. As it was, I broke up several crowds of 
them. Eight arrested for Sunday card playing, fourteen for 
selling goods on Sunday, and made eighteen raids for liquor. 
Now, if any other woman has worked harder than I in the in- 
terests of this town the last year, I'll wear my last winter's hat 
another season. Susan Gray, Constable." 

Mrs. M. a splendid report ; you have done a great service 
to our beloved town, and I take great pleasure in accepting the 
report. The milk inspector will now report. 

Mrs. Snow {reading). "To whom it may concern: I 
have thoroughly tested milk from every dealer selling in the 
town, and find that the only one whose milk is always above 
standard is {local ; some popular milk dealer) 's. Signed, 
Eliza H. Snow." 

Mrs. Cate. H'm ! I've wondered how she could afford 
to take a quart of cream every day from {local ; name same 
dealer). 

Mrs. M. Will the fence viewer give her report? 

Mrs. E. Most delighted. Your Grace. {Reads.) "This 
is to certify that twice each month I have ascended to the top 
of {local ; name some hill, tower, or high building) and care- 
fully viewed for the space of one-half hour the fences of our 
town, and so far as I could see they were in excellent condition. 
While making my last trip I was caught in a shower and 
ruined my new foulard gown, and I herewith present a bill 
against the town for a new dress — twenty-five dollars. Yours 
truly, Arabella R. Eaton, Fence Viewer." 

Mrs. M. But, my dear, we didn't tell you to wear a new 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 21 

silk gown on a rainy day. It is hardly the regalia of a town 
officer on duty, and I fear you will have to stand the loss. 
Why don't you dye the whole dress yourself? It would prob- 
ably come out lovely ; mine did. 

Mrs. E. Boo-hoo ! Then I'll never be fence viewer again, 
and I guess you'll have a time getting any one else for so hard 
a position. Boo-hoo ! 

Brid. Shure, I'll take the job, and a shnap it is. 

Mrs. M. We will accept the report, all excepting the part 
about the dress, and will now listen to the last report, that of 
our beloved auditor. 

Mrs. H. '* My dear Duchess and ladies : ( Wtj^h great itn- 
pressiveness.) I have faithfully examined the books of the 
town and found all words spelled correctly and nearly all 
punctuation marks right. Most cordially, Emma R. Holmes, 
Auditor." 

Mrs. M. That ends the reports of the year's work and I 
am proud of the earnest, thoughtful efforts of our noble town 
officers, that have given us so clean and well governed a town. 
{Looks at warrant.) The election of officers for the follow- 
ing year comes next. Is the nominating committee ready to 
report ? 

Mrs. G. We are, and I will read our list of nominations. 
Board of Selectmen : Mrs. Gate, Mrs. Cash, Mrs. Eaton. 

Mrs. Gate. I am very sorry, but we move from town next 
month, so I shall be obliged to decline the nomination, and I 
move you. Madam Moderator, that Her Grace the Duchess of 
Waterbury be nominated to serve you in my stead. 

All. Second the motion. 

Mrs. M. But I shall only be here for a few months. 

Mrs. G. Well, you can serve for the time you are here. As 
you are somewhat modest I will put the vote. Those in favor 
of Her Grace the Duchess of Waterbury being nominated to 
serve as chairman of the Board of Selectmen for the coming 
year, rise. 

{All rise.) 

Mrs. G. I will begin again. ''Board of Selectmen: — 
Duchess of Waterbury, chairman. Mrs. Cash. Mrs. Eaton. 
Collector of taxes, Mrs. Smart. Treasurer, Mrs. Blunt. 
Town clerk, Mrs. Briggs. Constables {name three well- 
known men). School Committee, Mrs. Sears {name two 
well-known women). Superintendent of streets, Mrs. Jones. 



22 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Assessors {iiaine three wealthy wovieii). Milk inspector, 
Mrs. Snow. Overseers of the poor, Mrs. Drake {name two 
others). Auditor, Mrs. Holmes. Board of Health, Mrs. 
Plain {iiavte local ivomeii). Tree wardens {locals if desired). 
Fence viewers {localy if desired). Highway surveyor {locals 
if desired).^* 

Mrs. H. Madam Moderator, I move that the clerk cast 
one ballot for the entire list. 

Mrs. Plain. I second the motion. 

Mrs. M. It is moved and seconded that the clerk cast one 
ballot for the entire list. Those in favor of that motion will 
hold up their hands. (All do so.) Please hurry, Madam Clerk ; 
it is getting late. 

{Clerk casts ballot and Mrs. M. declares the officers 
elected.) 

Mag. Shure, and I object to it. 

Mrs. M. Why, my dear, what is the trouble ? 

Mag. Shure the Oirish contingent is lift out intirely. 

Mrs. M. But those who have no special position are to 
help in all, you see. 

Mag. Shure. If you say it's all right, why it goes, your 
Dukes — er — phwat do they call a Mrs. Duke anyway ? 

Mrs. M. Now for the list of appropriations. 

Mrs. Smart. Oh, make it the same as last year to save 
time. 

Mrs. D. Same here. 

Mrs. M. It is moved and seconded that the appropriations 
be the same as last year ; those in favor of that motion will hold 
up their hands. {All do so except Mrs. E.) It is a vote. 

Mrs. E. Hold on a minute. I think last year's appro- 
priation for the maintenance of schools was much too large. 
We overpay our teachers. Just think, they only work five hours 
for five days a week for thirty- eight weeks, and get paid for 
fifty-two weeks* work of six days each. / think it is out- 
rageous. 

Mrs. J. Well, that's all you know about it. I was a 
teacher, and speak from a long experience. I was in school 
from 8 : 30 to 12 : 15 a. m., and from i : 15 to 4 P. M., and 
sometimes until five, and between then and 8 : 30 the next 
morning spent three or four hours correcting work of the pre- 
vious day and preparing work for the day to come, so now ! 
The folks up-stairs in your house do say that you are everlast- 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 



23 



ingly kicking over the noise of their two nice little children. I 
wonder how you'd like to have forty little imps under your nose 
all day. Huh ! 

Nora. Squelched ! 

Mrs. W. Gracious ! but there's a hornet's nest for you ! 
Madam Moderator, the appropriation has already been voted, 
so Mrs. Eaton is out of order. 

Mrs. M. Mrs. White's point is well taken ; the discussion 
is out of order. Now we come to the last number on our 
program, New business. Has any one any new business to 
bring before this meeting ? 

Mrs. Prou. Yes, I have. I wish the town would have 
some new steps built in front of this building. The present 
ones are so high that women with fashionable skirts have to 
come up the stairs sidewise. 

Mrs. W. And the front door is much too narrow for 
picture hats, so we may as well have a wider door built while 
we are about it. 

Mrs. G. 1 want the (Jocal^ railroad company to be com- 
pelled to burn hard coal. The cinders from that horrid soft 
coal gets all over my clean washing every Monday. 

Mrs. E. Well, I want a clock placed in the tower of this 
building — one that strikes. Every clock in my house tells a 
different hour, and as a result I got to church five minutes too 
early last Sunday, and the next day my Evangeline was late to 
school, because I set the clock too far ahead. 

Mrs. Cash. Well, I want milkmen prohibited from making 
so much noise with their bottles in the middle of the night. It 
always wakes my baby up. 

Mrs. J. Well, I want them to stop putting that pesky oil 
on the streets ; my hall rugs are a sight. I have half a mind 
to make the town buy me some new ones. 

Mrs. Snow. Well, I want street car conductors to be in- 
structed to look up and down each street, to see if some one is 
running for the car. It is outrageous the way they whiz past 
our street when I am nearly to the corner, and half killing my- 
self with running. 

Mrs. D. Well, what I want is to have our public libraries 
compelled to buy at least twenty copies of every new novel. I 
never can get them until they are nearly worn out and quite 
out of date. 

Mrs. H. Well, I want our teachers to just stop giving so 
much home work to our children. My Ellen doesn't have a 



24 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

chance to wipe dishes, or even make her own bed nowadays, 
she has so many lessons to get. We pay our teachers to teach 
the children, not to keep them up half the night to teach them- 
selves. 

Mrs. Plain. Good for you. My sentiments entirely. I 
think they ought to begin half an hour earlier and keep half an 
hour later, and have no home work and sensible lessons. It 
would do my Mattie much more good to learn to make a loaf 
of bread and to sew a straight seam than to know how many 
flowers grow in swampy ground, and how many miles away the 
nearest planet is. 

Mrs. Blunt. Well, what I want is to go home right straight 
off, so I move to adjourn, and to lay all these matters on the 
table until the next regular town meeting. 

Mag. I second the motion. 

(^Motion is put and carried by ong vote. As soon as the 
moderator declares the vote^ Mr. Manchester enters.) 

Nora. A man ! 

Mrs. M. Albert ! 

Mr. M. I've had a cablegram. 

All. Well ? 

Mr. M. {to wife). It was a mistake. It was two other 
boys that were drowned, and uncle, although prostrated, will 
recover. 

Mrs. M. Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! How glad I am. How per- 
fectly splendid. Why, ladies, those dear boys weren't drowned 
after all. 

All. What? 

Mr. M. It was a mistake. It was two other young men, 
and we are greatly rejoiced. 

Mrs. Smart. Then you aren't a Duke. 

Mr. M. {smiling). No, lady. Only a common ordinary 
man. 

Mrs. Smart. Well, I think your wife has played a very 
shabby trick upon us. {To Mrs. M.) You may consider my 
invitation revoked, Mrs. Manchester. [Exit, 

Mrs. Cash. And mine also, woman ! [Exit, 

Mrs. Prou. And mine, you common carpenter's wife. 

[Exit, 

Mrs. Sears. I shall denounce her as a public impostor. 

[Exit. 



A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 2$ 

Mrs. G. 1 am going to read up the law on such matters 
and see if I can't arrest her. \_jExif. 

Mrs. E. Really, I can't breathe the air in the same room 
with such a wholesale fraud. \_£xi/. 

Mrs. J. Well, I shan't ever speak to her again. lExif. 

Mrs. D. / think it was just a put up job to get elected 
moderator. [^JSxif. 

Mr. M. Why, what does this mean ? 

Mrs. H. It means that just the minute those snobs thought 
your wife was a Duchess, they almost brushed off her boots 
with their handkerchiefs. 

Mr. M. Oh ! I see. And they really made you moder- 
ator of the meeting ? 

Brid. Shure, and she made a dandy one too. 

Nora. And they made her chairman of the Board of Select- 
men for the next year. 

Mr. M. What ! 

Mrs. Plain. Yes, thank goodness thaf can't be revoked. 

Mrs. Gate. I move that the proceedings of this meeting 
be declared null and void, and that we hold another meeting 
one week from to-night. 

Mrs. W. Second the motion. Hurry up and put it, Mrs. 
Briggs. 

Mrs. Briggs {sarcastically). I am so sorry, ladies, but the 
meeting has already adjourned, and your motion is too 
late, and would be out of order anyway. Nora, put them 
out. {Goes out.) 

(Nora, Brid. and Mag. chase Mrs. Gate and Mrs. W. 
out.) 

Mrs. M. But how did you know about the boys being 
alive ? 

Mr. M. I got a cablegram just now. They got our cable 
of sympathy yesterday, and were so pleased with it that they 
are going to make us a gift of ten thousand pounds. 

All. Oh ! 

Brid. Shure, that's ^50,000. 

Mr. M. {continuing). In appreciation of our sorrow for 
them and a thank offering for their boys being spared, and 
they are coming to visit us next summer. 

Nora. Oh ! Mrs. Smarty ! Mrs. Smarty ! Let me hurry 
home to tell her. 



26 A SUFFRAGETTE TOWN MEETING 

Brid. Shure, let's all of us go and get ready for torch-light 
parade in honor of our chairman of selictmin. 

Mag. Three cheers for Mrs. Manchester, who is good as a 
Duchess if she ain't one. 

{They give three cheers while going out) 



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Biles, a cabman, No. ig82. Society." 

Bite, a sheriff s officer. Waiters, Dancers, Policemen, 

Waiter. etc. 

LONDON ASSURANCE 

A Comedy in Five Acts 
By Dio7i L. Boucicault 
Ten males, three females. Costumes may be modern or of the period, 
as preferred ; scenery, two interiors and one exterior. Plays a full even- 
ing. The Boston Museum version of this famous comedy, which is so 
full of movement and of life, and so absolutely well suited to the actor's 
ends that it never grows old in effect. Strongly recommended for school 
performance, as well as for amateur acting in general. This version con- 
tains all the usual cuts, alterations, and *' gags." 
Price, /J cents 

A SCRAP OF PAPER 

A Comedy in Three Acts 
By J. Palgrave Siinpson 
Six males, six females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays a full evening. The Boston Museum version of this delightful piece 
with all the usual cuts and " gags." A perfect play for practiced ama- 
teurs, high in tone, sprightly in movement, vividly interesting in story 
and offering good parts to all. 

Price, I J cents 



New Farces 



THE ELOPEMENT OF ELLEN 
A Farce Comedy in Three Acts 

By Marie J, Warren 

Four males, three females. Costumes modern ; scenery, one interior an4 

ane exterior. Plays an hour and a half. A bright and ingenious little 

Diay, admirably suited for amateur acting. Written for and originally 

produced by Wellesley College girls. Strongly recommended. 

Frice^ 2^ cents 

TOMMY'S WIFE 

A Farce in Three Acts 

By Marie J, Warren 
Three males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
Plays an hour and a half. Originally produced by students of Wellesley 
College. A very original and entertaining play, distinguished by abun- 
dant humor. An unusually clever piece, strongly recommended. 
Price i 23 cents 

ALL CHARLEY'S FAULT 

An Original Farce in Two Acts 

By Anthony E, Wills 
Six males, three females. Scenery, an easy interior ; costumes modem. 
Plays two hours. A very lively and laughable piece, full of action and 
admirably adapted for amateur performance. Dutch and Negro comedy 
characters. Plays very rapidly with lots of incident and not a dull mo- 
ment Free for amateurs, but professional stage rights are reserved by 
the author. Strongly recommended. 

PricCy i^ cents 

OUT OF TOWN 

A Comedy in Three Acts 
By Bell Elliot Palmer 
Three males, five females. Scene, an interior, the same for all three 
acts ; costumes modern. Plays an hour and a half. A clever and inter- 
esting comedy, very easy to produce p.nd recommended for amateur per. 
formance. Tone high and atmosphere refined. All the parts good. A 
safe piece for a fastidious audience, as its theme and treatment are alike 
beyorid reproach. 



New Recitations 
BAKER'S 

HUMOROUS SPEAKER 

Readings and Recitations for School or Platform, including pieces 
in Yankee, English, French, German and Scotch dialect* 

One hundred and sixty-four selections in prose and verse by Mark Twain, 
Will Carlton, R. J. Burdette, O. W. Holmes, Betsy Bobbitt, M. Quad, Bill Nye, 
Max Adeler, John Phoenix, Artemas Ward and others. 307 pages. 

PRICE, 25 CENTS. 



BAKER'S 
PATRIOTIC SPEAKER 

A Collection of the Best Patriotic Selections for 

School or Platform* 

Seventy-aix selections in prose and verse by Will Carlton, F. H. Gassaway, 

Bret Harte, Joaquin Miller, T. W. Higginson, John L. Swift, John G. Whittier, 

Gen. Sherman, H. B. Sargent, T. DeWitt Talmage and others. Reprinted from 

The Grand Army Speaker. 149 pages. 

PRICE, 25 CENTS, 



Selections from Standard Authors 

For School and College. 

Nearly one hundred selections from standard authors, comprising gems 
from such writers as Shakespeare, Tennyson, Macaulay, Irving, Scott, Dickens, 
Browning, Byron, Sheil, Leigh Hunt, Poe, Hazlitt, Hood, Bayard Taylor, 
I)e Quincy, Lowell, Owen Meredith, Longfellow, Bryant, Trowbridge, Victor 
Hiigo, Sumner, Webster, and many others. 240 pages. 

PRICE, 50 CENTS, 



Sent post-paid on receipt of price by 

Walter H. Baker & Co., 5 Hamilton Place 

BOSTON, MASS. 



New Plays 



A RUSSIAN UOMANCE 

A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS 

For Female Characters only 

By Helen Kane 

Author of "A Point of Honor," etc. 
Sixteen female characters. Scenes, two interiors ; costumes modern. 
Plavs two hours. A very exceptionally dramatic and effective play for all 
women, high in tone and quite above the average m quahty. Calls for strong 
acting by three of its characters, has several good character parts and a 
number of minor parts that call for handsome dressmg. An excellent play 
ior a woman's club, easy to stage and absorbing in interest. Confidently 
recommended to the best taste. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Mlle. Sannom {Olga Petrwina), a Mrs. Tremainb, cousin to Mrs. Will' 

Russian refugee ner ; a ** manager." 

MADAME IGNATIEFF, tvife of the Rus- Lady Gray, wife [of English Ambaa- 

sian Ambassador. ^J^^^- -c^.,.,^^™ -f ttK^^i. 

MADAME LuYOFF wife of Attochi, Madame DE Fa YEUSE,tw/eo/J?VencA 

Russian Embassy. , Minister. 

MRS. WiLLNER, Wife of Senator,— Mrs. Weston, "^ Callers at Sen- 

kindly and inconsequent. Mrs. Ellett, ator Wtllner s 

ASENATH, her daughter, aged eighteen; Miss de Lorme, VThts number may 

romantic but loyal. Miss Fairfax, 6e increased t/de- 

LoRNA, her ''Baby," aged six; rebel- Miss de Peyster.J sirable. 

lims—" enfant terrible." Sasha, maid at Russian. LegaUf^.U 
HuiiDAH, maid to Mrs. Willner. 

SYNOPSIS 

ACT I. Scene 1. —At Senator Willner 's. Olga (Mile. Sannom) arrives 
in America, in search of her brother. 

Scene 2. — The same. She " manages " the " unmanageable. 

ACT II. Scene 1. — " Calling day " at Senator Willner's. Olga meets 
an old friend, and is seen by her enemy. ^^ , ^, „ c?i.^^{„ 

Scene 2. — At the Russian Embassy. Story of the escape from Siberia. 
The enemv threatens. . ^, , . 

ACT III. Scene 1. — At the Embassy again. Olga meets her enemy. 

Scene 2. — At Mrs. Willner's. The enemy conquered. 

THE LAND OF HEART'S DESIRE 

A FAIRY PLAT 

By W. B, Yeats 

Three male, three female characters. Scenery, a plain interior ; cos- 
tumes, Irish peasant. Plays half an hour. An excellent example of this 
author's work. It has been extensively used in this country by schools of 
acting, and the present edition was made for this purpose. Pei'ieetty act- 
able, but most unconventional in form and treatment. Offered to atttdenti 
rather than for acting. 

Price^ 16 cents 



CEO 13 191? 

NEW CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENTS 



Kriss Kringle^s Panorama 

Of Pantomimes, Tableaux, Readingfs, Recitations^ 

Illustrated Poems, Music, etc 

This is a compendium of material for the celebration of Christman Iw 
school hall, or at home. The selections are carefully made and skilfully 
employed and arranged, so that variety and novelty may be given to almost 
any length of programme made up from its matter. 

Price S3 Cents 



CONTENTS 

A Christmas Carol. (Concert Exercise) Bev. A. J. Ryan 

A Christmas Carol '^'^•^^3^'^ 

A Christmas Eve Adventure '^'/'irn^ZuL 

A Christmas Party 'Jr''^-^^^ Carlton 

A Distant Carol K.VanHarhngen 

Angelic Song, The ......Ivy English 

An Old Roundsman's Story. (Pantomime) Margaret Eytxnge 

Around the World with Santa Claus 

Children's Day, The. (Tableaux) 

Children's Gifts, The CT"^"r««V^*7/n^A 

Christmas Bells S. W. Longfellow 

Christmas Bells • -■ T"'Tf"whi'tP 

Christmas Comes but Once a Year -l». -«• ^vn^le 

Christmas Eve in the Street. (Pantomime) -';•••' it"A^''J''/^ 

Christmas Guest, The Helen Angell Goodwin 

Christmas Morning 

Christmas Morning 

Christmas Shopping. (Pantomime) • •• • • • • • • • • • •*•••••• 

Driver's Christmas, The Mrs. M. L. Rayne 

Filling the Stocking. (Pantomime) o**t"d"V1 

Jack Frost and the Christmas Tree ^- «/• JiurKe 

KiTTiE to Santa Claus 'nV ' "^* *Tr" lir-zl^U 

Lady Judith's Vision, The. (Tableaux) Mrs. E. V. Wilson 

Lament of a Left-over Doll, The 

Merry Christmas 

On the Quiet. (Pantomime) 'w^y/i'w''n'nV't 

Prince of Life, The wniinZ'TS?.ol 

8NOW Angel, The Wallace Bruce 

Story Katie Told, The. (Pantomime)... 'i:j""';,"i^''JJh'r,'i'i 

Swipsey's Christmas Dinner. (Statuary) • • -^^«'^^^^"'^*^fjj 

Two Little Stockings, The. (Tableaux) Sarah Keables Hunt 



Sent, postpaid, on receipt of price, by 

BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, MASS, 



Jl* m; Pinero's Plays 

Price, 50 getits Cacb 

Min PUAMMn Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females. 
lYilU-l,>ni\iiilEiLi Costumes, moderu; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH 2:;^"' '^^,Z 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. 

THC PDHFIir'ATF Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five 
iriEt rIvv/rijlvl/i.lEi females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

TOP CPOnnf MICTDrCC Farce in Th?ee Acts. Nine males, 
InCi OLnUULlTllOlIVEiiJO seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY Igt'^Sl^S^e 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
full evening. 

CWEFT f AVrMnrD Comedyin Three Acts. Seven males, 
OVYLLl LAVEillULIV four females. Scene, a single interior, 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

TOr TUITMnrODAI T Comedv'in Four Acts. Ten males, 
InCi InUllULIVDUH nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

TIJI7 TIIUIFQ Corned V in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
I llL 1 llTilLiJ Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modem. Plays 
a full evening. 

TUP \UV K WD CrV Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
lnl!i tVEiAIV.LIV OEiA eight females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE '^^SL^,^^^,£Sl 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evenmg. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter ?|. ISafeer Sc Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 




016 102 457 



3^ecent popular ^a^s 



THF AWAK'FNINfi ^^^^ ^" '^'^^^ ^^^^- ^^ ^- ^- chambers. 

luL< A TT AlVlwmiiU Four males, six females. Scenery, not ditti- 
cult, chi'^fly interiors ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 
Px'ice, 50 Cents. 

THE FRUITS OF ENLIfiBTENMENT ^^^^lotJn.^^^: 

one males, eleven females. Scenery, characteristic interiors ; cos- 
tumes, modern. Plays a full evening. Kecommended for reading 
clubs. Price, 35 Cents. 

HIS EXCELLENCY THE GOVERNOR 5^?!"^*^^^ %?2 

males, three females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior. 
Acting rights reserved. Time, a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

MinFAl HINRAKn comedy in lour Acts. By OscAK Wilde. 
\vui\u iiiUiJUrtin/ Nine males, six females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights 
reserved. Sold for reading. Price, 50 Cents. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST Sr,- ^] -^^m 

Wilde. Five males, four females. Costumes, modei'n ; scenes, two 
interiors and an exterior.. Plays a full evening. Acting rights re- 
served. Price, 50 Cents. 

LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN '^S^'^i:^'^,^lS^1t 

males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full 
evening. Acting rights reserved. Price, 50 Cents. 

NATHAIV HAI F ■^^^^' "^ ^^^^^ ^^^^- -^^ Clyde Fitch. Fifteen 
I'AlIlAli \xA\4\4 males, four females. Costuiues of the eighteenth 
century in America. Scenery, four interiors and two exteriors. Act- 
ing rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 59 Cents. 

THF HTHFU FFTTHW Comedy in Three Acts. BvM. B. Horxe. 
1111/ UlULn rmLrVTT Six males, four females. Scenery, tMO 
interiors ; costumes, modern. Professional stage rights reserved. 
Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

THE TYRANNY OF TEARS SSt.JS.^Frrtfa'fe^^u^rS, l- 

males. Scenery, an interior and an exterior ; costumes, modern. 
Acting rights reserved. ' Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE grA'lvfJr^ig^t^a.?!; 

seven females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors and an 
exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Offered for 
reading only. " Price, 50 Cents. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

5^alter i^. QSafier d Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 

6. J. PARKHILL & CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON. 



